OpenDonor - Did you just grab my ass?
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<EvilJoven> the canadian navy has 2 submarines, the biggest mall in canada has 3
<EvilJoven> something is wrong with this country
* Inthesto can imagine this dialogue.
<Inthesto> "He's ill."
<Inthesto> "You mean he's dope?"
<Inthesto> "No, I mean he's sick."
<Inthesto> "So he's cool?"
<Inthesto> "NO I MEAN HE IS NOT PHYSICALLY WELL HE IS DISEASED"
<Inthesto> "oic"
<Fryth> What is ".net"? Some kind of asp development standard?
<Calrathan> Fryth, distributed computing solution by MS.
<Calrathan> in otherwords... MS can disolve computers around the world with this stuff
<Calrathan> [distributed computing SOLUTION... har har har]
*** LiL^EbBiE was kicked by Avatar (it's rude to not reply when someone's talking to you)
<Avatar> i'm gonna be a great father
<arturo> sif
<arturo> you'll just gaffer tape them up when they say rude words and kick them out of the room every time they play up
<nem0> you gotta pee on jellyfish stings to make it better
<nem0> wonder if that'd work on Rey's foot?
<REY> tried it.
<boorman> i tend to just pee on people on the OFF CHANCE that theyve got a jelyfish sting. One day, ill save a life doin that
<monkey216> FUCK! im dead
<wrenchy> why?
<monkey216> Im sitting here hitting my bong and my dad just imed me from korea and was like, I can see you in the webcam
<monkey216> I forgot I had the damned camera turned on
<wrenchy> LMAO see you next year dumbass
<monkey216> fuck.....
* KnacK is busy studying for his urine test
* Fembot notes Knack failed his last test -- he kept peeking @ the guy beside him.
<putnam> i got a speech from my latin teacher about how in europe its commonplace for men to cry
<putnam> and crying is so special
<putnam> i asked her if she wanted me to cry for her and she said no, stop being a pussy this is america
<oxo> ooh oooh
<oxo> new drinking game
<oxo> you pick a random quote on bash
<oxo> if it involves sex, 1 sip
<oxo> shit / farting, 2 sips
<oxo> racism, 3 sips
<oxo> paedophilia, 4 sips
<oxo> beastiality, 5 sips
<oxo> if its a black guy butt fucking a horse then feeding the shit on his cock to a 12 year old, you have 1+2+3+4+5 sips = 15 sips
<@crystalis> I wish I had a vagina
<@crystalis> I'd keep stuff in it
<@crystalis> like car keys and stuff
<n2d2> i didnt put bon jovi in the playlist
<n2d2> oh my god
<chaobacca> 11:36:54
<chaobacca> Bon Jovi - Bad Medicine
<n2d2> my bon jovi mp3s have become self-aware
<synik> I just discovered how bad it is to mistake a can of black spray paint for deodorant
[ Skip ] my mum told me she deleted "that program that you have obscene conversations on"
[ Skip ] i came on and irc was still here
[ Skip ] yet my winamp is gone :S
<poppycat> well..I dont have a vibrator any more but yes...he was called mister buzzy and he used to squirm and vibrate across the floor at great speed
<kirsy> you let your vibrator play on the floor?
<poppycat> yes..I didnt get much out of using it so I decided to let it amuse me by racing it
<Yasui> "GO MR BUZZY! beat that other vibrator! you can do it!"
<drag-n> system uptime: 16h43m40s
<drag-n> the sad thing is
<drag-n> i've been at the pc the whole time.
<Kyle|> im making a SHELL for WINDOWS that LOOKS and FEELS like the REAL STANDALONE OS THAT WILL BE DONE NOT SOON!
<Urganite> what you mean to tell me
<Urganite> is that you're going to create a windows program
<Urganite> that just looks like what you want your OS to be?
<Urganite> ...
<Urganite> that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life
<Peasant> Someone should make a DHTML OS
<Kyle|> peasant: dont give me ideas
Ssecondstringr85: i love thanksgiving
TwilightKnight00: me 2
Ssecondstringr85: when the line between what you should eat and what you can eat is blurred
<intra> I have to go to Walmart to get some deoderant. But I thought it would be weird to buy just deoderant, so I thought about getting some DING-DONGs or something, but then I'd be buying DING-DONGS and DEODERANT. So I figure I might buy a shirt, but then I'd be buying DING DONGS, DEODERANT and a SHIRT. So I'm screwed no matter what I buy.
<trent> Dude, did I leave my platinum cube at your house?
<44lark> Nope, I was in the basement today and didnt see it
<trent> shit, I dont know where I left it then
<44lark> ya, hope you find it, im gonna go play Super Smash Brothers
<trent> ok
[PhantomDeath(kvirc@vw-25884.iprimus.net.au)] hey tim, im realy good at Windows NT. Do you think I could be apart of the 2600 network?
SonOfSam032: midgets get into disney land for free
SonOfSam032: they have to be leashed though
<+ketiov> coheed
<+ketiov> can i get op now
<@Coheed> If you really want op that bad just make a room and make yourself op :\
<+ketiov> i have 5 of those
<himitsu> Can anyone think of a science experiment i can do at home?
<himitsu> I have this assignment i have to do for year 10 science and i need to carry out an investigation.
<himitsu> Just give me a question i can find out,like do different brands of liquid paper dry faster and does brown ice cream melt faster than white.
<BastardKnight> Oh. Oh! Do an analysis of what happens when you mix a base and an acid as opposed to what happens you play bass and do acid. It'll be a smash hit.
<Gerudo> i just thought of something
<Gerudo> after eating some fun-size candy, i have a question...
<Gerudo> whats so 'fun' about fun-size candy?
<Gerudo> i mean, if my dick was that small, it sure as hell wouldnt be labeled 'fun-size' would it??
<Kitsa> dammit I hate my hotmail account
<Kitsa> I HAD 413 SPAM E-MAILS
<Kitsa> since 2:00 this morning
<Kitsa> according to them, I can make money sitting on my ass
<Kitsa> while fucking Britney Spears and taking human growth hormone
<FeSTeR> oh ya great job pullin out of the parking lot today..lol almost hit a woman
<GABAR> dude if i was any good at pulling out, you wouldnt be alive
*** oghost kicked prym from #hack ( children must be at least this tall to ride #hack )
<Matto20V> get lost
<uneekwahn> I can't
<uneekwahn> I have a map
* Matto20V points at his asshole
* uneekwahn opens his map for "the grand canyon"
<J>: Why is there porn all over the place??
<M>: Are you kidding? Ever since my mom moved out, my dad has been throwing that
shit around like confetti.
<philosophiliac> lol this arvo some guy started quoting the 2nd amendment at a teacher after knocking some crow out of a tree
<MissBitch> hahahahaha
<philosophiliac> with a shoe
<MissBitch> ...
<philosophiliac> seriously he goes
<philosophiliac> "the 2nd amendment states that all citizens have the right and obligation to bear arms"
<philosophiliac> "and shoes"
<MissBitch> lol
<philosophiliac> "we made it very clear to those terrorists that we would tolerate no more attacks"
<philosophiliac> and lockie here just got shat on"
<MissBitch> HAHAHAHAHAHHA
<philosophiliac> we have decided it is time to attack with neccessary force to show the crows that we mean business"
<MissBitch> lol
<philosophiliac> if they hit us"
<philosophiliac> we hit back
<philosophiliac> HARD
<philosophiliac> with whatever comes to hand
<MissBitch> im holding my nose so i dont burst out laughing here
<philosophiliac> and we cannot be held responsable for a war they started
<MissBitch> HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
<philosophiliac> in the war on crowism, ur either with us
<philosophiliac> or ur against us
<MissBitch> hahahahahahaha
<MissBitch> thats just so hilarious
<philosophiliac> oh yeah
<philosophiliac> the teacher was in hysterics
<philosophiliac> but the guy got a detention neway
<MissBitch> hahahaha
<MissBitch> oh well
<MissBitch> woulda bn worth it!
<philosophiliac> yeah
<philosophiliac> we were basically on the ground we were laughing so hard
<MissBitch> hahahahaha
<philosophiliac> and he didn't crack up once
<philosophiliac> and as the teacher leads him away he goes
<MissBitch> if i didnt want to wake my parents, id b killin myself laughin
<philosophiliac> "u can lock me up, but this war is a neccessary one"
<MissBitch> oooooooooooooh
<MissBitch> lol
<philosophiliac> "and one that will be contnued by freedom loving students with shoes everywhere"
<MissBitch> HAHAHAHHAHA ROFLMAO
(+comatosis) I DID IT! my first fucking mod! I took off my video card fan which is puny shit and added a BIG one :P
(+comatosis) how much performance will i gain
(+t0by`) none
<Ez> School books are fun to sell.
<Ez> and will be forever
<Vazagi> Isn't sort of like selling crack? Rots the mind and so on...
<myliw0rk> There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
<myliw0rk> This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
<Falcon> bk is your name turd mcturdburger. fuck you.
<bk> what why did you just go off on me
<bk> when we are clearly best friends for life
<Dingobloo>You know you're an IRC addict when you try to type "LOL" after reading a quote on bash.org
<Scofco> I neeeeed to gain weight
<Scofco> speaking of which, gonna go make dinner
* Scofco is away: making lasagna L:on, P:on
*** Scofco is now known as Scofco-away
*** Scofco-away is now known as Scofco
* Scofco is back from making lasagna. Awaytime 1min 14secs.
<Scofco> so much for that plan
<Jason> Wow, that was quick.
<Scofco> opened the freezer and saw some ice cream
<Idioteq> MASTER CHEF
<syk|Fox> and this green peace guy comes up to us and tells us how bad oil companies and shit are
<syk|Fox> then laura turns around looks him square in the face and tells him her dad owns an oil company
<syk|Fox> the guy ran off like she had aids or something
<Lid> fox ur mean.
<Lid> u should've covered him in oil and lit him up like a chiristmas tree
<Rephren> lol yesterday at work a customer asked for mango juice but i seriouisly thought she said mancake and so i repeatedit to her, sorry was that.. mancake? she looked at me strangely and then said MANGO and i walked away feeling like a dumbass
<Vile> I saw the most hilarious billboard today. All white, with black letters. '"Invite me back to school." - God.' <Vile> A being that can create a sunset must communicate with us by way of our BILLBOARDS! <Vile> *Driving, glances up at one such board* "Jerry. Don't sleep with your neighbors wife.
<Karmer> I am as eternal as the boundless limits of outer space, and my owner loathes and despises me
<mike> leprosy
<Karmer> no
<Karmer> it is
<Karmer> slidey's virginity
<brokenpodium> dude im about to talk to some kid from my high school that tried to kill himself when he got drunk
<JaaLin> thats fucked up
<brokenpodium> im going to ask if he wants to get hammered with me
<@Cain> i
<@Cain> am
<@Cain> ALIVE
<@Cain> yes iam
<@Cain> but no sleep
<@Cain> in days
<@Cain> makes me sad
<@Cain> and not here
*** Cain has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<@Domino_> was that a poem?
<@Domino_> cuz i hate drive-by prose :\
<Aglandiir> All you have to do is have a huge amount of energy
<Aglandiir> etc.
<Aglandiir> you can make a l33t food replicator
<+Bayonetto> I must admit
<Aeriana> But I want n3rd to DCC me food everyday.
<Aeriana> ;)
<+Bayonetto> I'd rather be able to fire myself to the coast or something.
<+Triskelios> but you're cooking it...
<+Triskelios> =P
<Aeriana> No, I'm too lazy.
<+Arty2> you'll download it through kazaa
<+Triskelios> haha
<+Triskelios> pirated food
<Aeriana> Then they'd be suing you for copyrights.
<+Bayonetto> illegaly shared pizza.
<Aglandiir> It would be dummy food
<+Arty2> cracks for pasta
<+Triskelios> free KFC for everyone
<Aglandiir> it wouldn't be a burger
<Aglandiir> it would be a photo of Madonna screaming at you
<Aglandiir> YOU BTCH WHY ARE YOU STEALING MY FOOD
<@jestuh> i was like "i'm never going to get used to getting SHOT AT"
* Quits: jestuh (Connection reset by peer)
* Joins: jestuh
<@jestuh> what was last line you got before disconnect?
<@_ace> <jestuh> anal sex used to hurt at first, but i learned how to relax my muscles
<Worsemaker> public boolean whore(String x) { if (x = "Your Mom") { return true; } else { return false; }
<Seigfried> You forgot your close brace, Worsemaker.
<Seigfried> And the else is extraneous.
<Seigfried> And I don't think you need the "public" unless it's actually in a class.
<Seigfried> And THAT has infinite levels of recursion. ;P
*** Worsemaker was kicked by Mandoric (C++ kick. =p)
*** _Kenny (kenny@md4690fc1.utfors.se) has left #cracking4newbies
*** _Kenny (kenny@md4690fc1.utfors.se) has joined #cracking4newbies
<_Kenny> who kicked me
<JakeD> My fingers are so fucking big that I'm all like "apjps0-3" just trying to type the word "hi"
<Winter> wow, i bet you're a hit with the ladies.
<JakeD> Yeah. "Hi, I'm Lisa." "apjps0-3" "....Fucking freak."
<Winter> i was thinking IRL, but i suppose you're more clumsy there?
<JakeD> That was an IRL example.
(@watchy): hey io
(@watchy): i am gonna put up a ebay auction
(@watchy): i'm gonna auction my sperm
(@watchy): haha
*** Quits: watchy (Excess Flood)
(@[IO]): or not
<DruMorgan> Anyone remember Big Bird singing the song about the alphabet pronouncing it as one big word?
<DruMorgan> AbkaDefGiJekylmanopriqstuvixez
<MrSnazz> didn't that open up a gateway to hell or something?
<Murder-Is-Funny> I get this huge kick of trying to talk people I judge as worthless into suicide
<Nailbomb> ugggh, I swear I'm gonna be seeing pixels for the next week, can't wait to hit the beach tomorrow
<Demigoat> yeah
<Demigoat> so you can look at the sand
<Demigoat> and go
<Demigoat> "hmm, those look like pixels"
<splat1> ow ffs, you dl a key gen for a linux app and its a flipping win32 exe ????
<reaper> splat1: ahahaha!
<reaper> pull out vmware!
<splat1> thats what i need the key for !!!
<gobi> djcrom: most guys would prolly jump on it and put a bag over her head if nothing else
<djcrom> if anything you'd need like 15 condoms tho
<gobi> djcrom: or a full body condom
<djcrom> don't get herpes, get glad (tm)
gentoogod: omg dude
gentoogod: today i might the stupidest 3 people i ever met
gentoogod: thier 3 brains combined couldnt solve the dilemma they faced today
siral21: what was it
gentoogod: ok before i say this
gentoogod: 100% true, not one second of a lie
gentoogod: this lady went into mcdonalds today and ordered a big mac for her
gentoogod: and ordered 2 mcgrittles one for each kid. one had bacon one without
gentoogod: her sons are around 18 or 19 so not infants
gentoogod: she went to the counter furious cause the son that wanted bacon has no bacon on his and the one that didnt want bacon has bacon on his
gentoogod: i fell on the floor beside her and couldnt stop laughing
gentoogod: so i finally stood up and asked her to repeat, thinking maybe shes drunk
gentoogod: i swear to god she looked at me straight faced and repeated it. and her 2 sons were beside her mad that they didnt get the order they wanted
<Eku{MY}> Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"?
<Ten> My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
<Ishtar-AFK> during chinese new years... they give redpockets filled with money
<Ishtar-AFK> for good luck or something, but the important part is cash
<SiWaRD> you're chinese?
<SiWaRD> I thought you were Korean
<Ishtar-AFK> i'm chinese
<Ishtar-AFK> wtf
<Ishtar-AFK> when i go back to visit my grandparents... they say i dont follow traditions
* sweeps starts thinking up racial slurs
<sweeps> when i go back to visit my grandparents... they say i dont follow traditions <- you mean communism?
<SiWaRD> do your grandparents know martial arts?
<sweeps> do they fly?
[Kris] friggen brazilians are still going nuts, even second defacement is by some group which hangs on brasnet
[jimmiejaz] they just got electricity, they've got to catch up.
(moimau) my net would make your net reverse compile itself, tar.gz itself
(moimau) and upload it back to the server it came from.
(moimau) so sit down.
<Spyder-> AOL also sucks
*** Carnevil_ has quit IRC (Ping timeout for Carnevil_[ACA7C955.ipt.aol.com])
<Urganite> THERE ARE NO BAGELS BUT ONION, AND MOHAMMED IS HIS PROPHET
<Urganite> ...
<OneiWilly> you are worshipping a false bagel
<Shark> i'm the only human that has actually seen the loch ness monster
<SeXyBW> is that what you call it now shark?
<Shark> haha, that's what i call my dick
<SeXyBW> so you are the only one that has seen it eh
<Caveman> fuck...father in law had company this past weekend...including his friends like 17 or 18 year old daughter
<Caveman> and da bitch didnt even use the bathroom with the hidden cam
<Gadfly> Did you see The Passion of the Christ yet? I hear Salman Rushdie's writing the novelization.
<molo> C:>ping god
<molo> Ping request could not find host god. Please check the name and try again.
<molo> it's true, god doesn't exist
<mrmin123> maybe he's just having DNS problems
(jo2): Do you know any help files for vb which are legal to download ?
(@IRBMe): MSDN?
(@IRBMe): or you could look on the CD's or something
(jo2): i have no cds
(@IRBMe): where did they go?
(jo2): don't know
(jo2): i never had them
(jo2): i have downloaded a trial ver
(@AndyDev): where did u d/l it from?
(jo2): no warez
(@AndyDev): where did u find the trial version?
(jo2): don't know
(jo2): it was 3 month ago
(@AndyDev): then buy the cds
(jo2): ok give me the money
(@AndyDev): OK, download them from here ftp://warez:download@127.0.0.1
(jo2): it doesn't work
<@Drezdar> This summer I'm gonna buy a DDR pad. I figure I can kill three birds with one stone by doing this: 1) play a game, 2) exercise, 3) swear off heterosexuality for good.
*** Sparks has quit IRC (Quit: You have never really, truly known the joys of riding on a public bus until you look around and realize that the people sitting next to you are the same ones who converse with cheese on a regular basis...)
Seraph: Nothing wrong with talking to cheese. :)
<Dreq> is there anyway to get the DOS version?
<andy> the dos version of win98?
<Dreq> yes
<fichen973> Your porn is so old that the women in the pictures have offspring with their own porn sites.
<neurotik> huhuhu i think steamed chicken is disgusting but i wouldn't consider myself steamedchicken-o-phobic
<neurotik> therefore i wouldn't consider myself homophobic either
<Chis> how do you permaterm an aol account assuming you have the password?
<Chis> to an account
<Chis> just incase someone would want to theoretically do this
Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"
Primus521: lol
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face
Primus521: omfg
Primus521: til the day i die
Primus521: i will never forget it
<Ross> What are they naming the bastard child?
<Tiffany> she wants to call the baby Rochel if it's a girl
<Ross> hooker name
<Tiffany> and they will probably name it Vampire Hunter D if it's a boy
<Ross> I'd name my kid something totally badass, regardless of the sex
<Ross> Like
<Ross> Tyranocore
<Ross> Or Vader
<LoneVandal> I've heard Korean is the most logical and easy to read written language on earth
<LoneVandal> And that it is way easier to understand than speaking it
<Parn> It's easy to speak Korean
<Parn> See, watch
<Parn> CHING CHONG PING PONG
<LoneVandal> Thats chinese you faggot
<pimpybra> Did you just get off on that?
<Valgar_> On Tuna?
<Valgar_> I like it, but not that much
<sean> I could jack off to a barbie doll and it'd be the equivilant to jerking off to the girls in playboy
<Ronwe> sean: you've jerked off to a barbie doll?
<iTM> wtf
<Ronwe> that' just pathetic
<sean> yes, many MANY times
<Ronwe> I mean, I've done it to Charsi's ass in D2.. but never to a barbie doll
<Ronwe> and it was only once... too lazy to go find some decent porn to smack to
<Astro> lol
<iTM> Charsi's ass?
<Ronwe> yeah... it's tight and firm
<Ronwe> I'm not going to explain any more
<Ronwe> I'm already afraid of this making it to bash
<atl_jimbo> I wonder is Sara's still pissed at me....
<atl_jimbo> being her friend and not being her friend, there's not much difference.
(PJ) grrr
(PJ) a car alarm is going off
(PJ) OH FOR GOD SHAKES SOMEONE SHOOT THE DAMN CAR
(PJ) fuck
(PJ) its our car
<Pi|Mu|Rho> I'm sure that somewhere out there is the
right girl for you . Unfortunately, I think "out there" is measured in
light years.
<wonderwoman> and electrode pads around the rectum are reason enough to pay attention to a thorough shave. . .
<wonderwoman> um, oops
<dellarte> wow that was enlightening ww
<wonderwoman> um, wrong window
<Merrick> Elizabethian: To be or not to be, that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take up arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them. Ebonics: I be fixin to hang in the hood.
<tHEMiDENS> ok, anyone got their list sent to fbi ?
<fyre> i have the fbi with me now
<fyre> we're watching shrek 2
<DeAdiNsiDe> WOooOH!
<DeAdiNsiDe> SPIDERS!!!!!!!!
<Spiders> yes?
<DeAdiNsiDe> I FOUND MY DICK!!!
<DeAdiNsiDe> I FOUND MY DICK!!!
<DeAdiNsiDe> I FOUND MY DICK!!!
<DeAdiNsiDe> err
<DeAdiNsiDe> disk!
<Spiders> hahaha
<DeAdiNsiDe> Ooh fuck
<DeAdiNsiDe> im never gonna hear the end of that one
<Dr_DOS> a typhoon smashed into hong kong
<Dr_DOS> wiping out 1.5% of their pirated goods
<Dr_DOS> a total profit of $300,000 for US companies alone
<Nookadum> I need to learn html can anyone help?
<Blar> Sure. Just put this on your webpage and when you go there a cool editor for it will come up - N<br>o<BR>o<BR>k<BR>a<BR>d<BR>u<BR>m<BR><BR>S<BR>u<BR>c<BR>k<BR>s<BR><BR>C<BR>o<BR>c<BR>k.
<Nookadum> Thanks.
* Nookadum has quit IRC (Quit: Off to work on my webpage. ^-^)
Some time later.
* Nookadum has joined #Megatokyo
<Nookadum> Hey! Fuck you!
<Blar> Alright. I forgot to tell you, you have to press F4 for it to work. That message is just protecting the secret of the editor.
<Nookadum> Oh.. Alright.
* Nookadum has quit IRC (Connection reset by client)
